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BECK
Tue Aug 22, 2006 1:52 pm


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Haven't posted any jokes in FOREVER....so:

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Top 5 Smartass Responses of 2006
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Smart Ass Answer #5:



A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check

tickets.

As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he

opened his trench coat and flashed at her.



Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not

your stub."

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Smart Ass Answer #4:



A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store,

but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a

stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"



The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."



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Smart Ass Answer #3:



The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding

rolled down his window.



"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.



The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."



When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way

without a ticket.



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Smart Ass Answer #2:



A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that

 

reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right

ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up

for miles.



Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks

 

to  the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got

stuck, huh?"



The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out

of gas."



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#1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006.......................



A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.



"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here

tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal

injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it

 

, no other excuses whatsoever!"



A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked,

"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete

and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter

 

and snickering.



When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the

student, shaking her head, and sweetly said "Well, I guess you'd have

 

to write the exam with your other hand."
